I saw on the Internet today that the US population now stands at about 308 million people, (more or less). I also saw on the Internet that the current national debt stands at 13.8 trillion dollars (more or less). That’s $13,800,000,000,000. If you can find a calculator with enough digits to divide that out, it comes to roughly $45,000 per person. That’s what each person, man, woman, child, infant, would have to pay to our government to bring us back into the black. What would you do if you got a bill from Uncle Sam today for your share? Got $45,000 just lying around that you could spare? This would be in addition to all your regular monthly bills, all the income tax you have to pay, all the property taxes and such. This would be an additional $45,000. My son’s two kids, who are 10 months and 2 years old, would have to cough up $45,000 apiece, and they can’t even count!
Maybe we should just send bills to the Representatives and Senators who are responsible for all this mess (and maybe George W. Bush too). Let’s see: 100 Senators and 435 Representatives, that’s 535 folks. Divide up the 18.8 trillion by 535, and that comes to about $33.6 billion each. We could just garnish their paychecks until they settle up. I’m not sure what these jerks make a year, but let’s just guesstimate an even $100,000/year (I’m sure that’s probably low, but it makes a good round number for doing the math. Heck, they probably get that much in postage allowance, the so-called “franking” privilege, I believe it is). So if we took their whole $100,000 each year, they would only have to work for another 33,600 years to pay off their responsibilities (assuming they can get re-elected enough times).
Of course, there are a few philanthropists scattered around the country that would probably kick in a little extra to help make this debt go away, you know, help out some of us less fortunate souls who might not have the $45,000 sitting in the cookie jar in the kitchen. Folks like Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, The Donald, some of Sam Walton’s kids. That might even whittle our share down to only about $40,000 apiece.
I wish Mr. Obama would give some thought to this matter. Seeing that he’s such a highly intelligent guy and all, maybe he could come up with a plan to pay off all this debt and solve the unemployment crisis at the same time. Heck, he and his Democratic pals in Congress could just hire everyone who doesn’t have a job, (here’s the good part – they wouldn’t have to actually DO anything, just be government employees, kinda like the welfare system, huh?) pay them $45,000 each, and then take it out of their checks. I’m pretty sure the Treasury Dept. still has those printing presses, they could run off a few more billion in $100 bills, to cover the cost of those checks. Wouldn’t actually cost a thing, other than the price of the paper and ink (as long as they don’t have to buy those damn color cartridges from HP, those things are pricey!) That would take care of about 10 million of the 308 million people that owe the $45,000 each, and the unemployment rate would drop to zero & overnight! Then, when the rest of us pay up, we would have no more national debt, and the Congress could get back to passing those pork bills, the states (like California and New York, et al) would be able to solve their budget problems, the stock market would shoot up, and the economy would boom again. We might even be able to pay all the interest we owe the Chinese! (Of course their would be a few minor details to work out, but Congress could stick all those pesky things in the middle of one of those 2,000 page bills that nobody ever reads, and figure it out as they go along).
And to top it all off, Mr. Obama would be the hero of the American people, for saving us from the crushing grip of a $13,800,000,000,000 nation debt (that Mr. Bush ran up), and would win re-election in a 2012 landslide. In fact, he would be so popular, that Congress could pass the 27th or 28th Amendment to allow a president to serve as many terms as he wants. He might even still be president when the Congressmen get through paying off their share 33,600 years from now!
There you go Barack, sounds like a plan to me. Could you maybe do me a favor, and knock a little off my $45,000 share, for using my idea? I won’t tell anyone you got it from me, it can be our little secret. I think it’s at least as good as all your other ideas so far!